Several people close to me have said at various times over the years that they don't regret anything they've done, only things they didn't do. I'm more of an equal opportunity regretter, myself - there are plenty of things I've done that I really shouldn't have, even for "educational" value (i.e., "at least now I know...I'll never do that again..."). There are a couple of things I didn't do that really stand out when I think about them, though.
I was watching some making-of feature about Almost Famous years ago, and Cameron Crowe was talking about how he makes a mix tape every month as kind of an audio diary of things going on in his life at that point. He's done this for years, and can go back and listen to songs to be reminded of experiences from that time in his life. I heard that, and I thought, "That's a good idea; I should do that." But I didn't.
Around the same time, I was watching something about George H. W. Bush. He apparently ends every day by spending 15 minutes to write a short letter longhand to someone. Could be a person he met that day, an old friend he hasn't seen in a while, or Barbara. He, too, has done this for decades. I heard that, and I thought, "That's a good idea; I should do that." But I didn't.
I think the former would've been nice to have that time capsule back in time in my own life, and the latter certainly would've helped me keep in touch with people I've lost over the years. Realistically, I don't know that I have the discipline to keep up with either of these, but that wasn't the reason I didn't try. I didn't try because neither was my idea.
That may sound petty (and it may be), but I've always had an aversion to intentionally doing something if it's a direct copy of something someone else is doing, especially atypical things such as these. I don't really know what it is. If I had to guess, I'd say it's a reaction to materialism and our culture of advertising. It bothers me when I go back and glance at the comic books I had as a kid, and the percentage of video games I owned that were advertised in there is staggaringly high. It bothers me when I go to Taco Bell and get a Pepsi with my meal, and there's a large Pepsi staring at me from the menu, and I honestly don't know if I would've gotten a Mountain Dew or water if that image hadn't been there. I don't like the idea of following, and I fear these ideas may have gotten lumped into that part of my brain that viscerally reacts against being manipulated.
I suppose it's not too late to start...
Monday, October 17, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Citizenship and You
A common joke among my liberal friends about some of the proposed requirements for U.S. Citizenship was that it's about time people aren't guaranteed citizenship just because they were born here - now people will finally have to learn something about their country. I'm quite sure it won't come to that, but it does depress me how apathetic so many people are about their obligations as citizens of this country, even as many of them criticize me for not being patriotic enough.
My wife asked me to write a guest post on her blog about this very issue. It's running today; check it out!
My wife asked me to write a guest post on her blog about this very issue. It's running today; check it out!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Ignorance is Bliss
Yesterday I mentioned in passing that I've somewhat given up on Hollywood and explained, in part, why. Perhaps a bigger part of it, though, is that I was (almost) a Film Studies minor in college. (As a transfer student, I ended up 3 credits shy even after completing an independent study, and it didn't seem worth dropping almost a grand just for bragging rights.) I rate everything I see on IMDb, and I haven't given a movie a 10 in over eight years - since the summer before I went to college.
The last 10 I gave out? Bruce Almighty.
I immediately lose all credibility among my fellow cinephiles film snobs when this comes up, and get puzzled looks from just about everyone. Many assume I'm joking, but I'm totally serious. I generally like Jim Carrey, and this movie in particular struck a cord with me. I thought it was extremely well-done, had a good message, and took an interesting path to make its point.
I am not unaware that, if I were to watch it for the first time today, it would not be a 10 for me. This is the case for at least 13 of the 16 movies I've given a 10 over the years. It's not just nostalgia, or that I was younger at the time. It's that the more I learn about the process of filmmaking, the more flaws I can see, and I can't simply turn that part of my brain off and ignore them like I used to.
This isn't unique to film, or even entertainment. I painted an interior room for the first time in my life about a year ago, and was unsatisfied with the outcome. There were globs here, splashes onto the trim there, a bit of streaks in the color. Other rooms don't look like this, I thought. I've failed. What I've noticed since then is that other rooms actually do generally look like that, or worse. Even professionally painted ones have minor versions of the flaws my son's room has. One might think that would make me feel better about my work, but it actually makes me feel worse that humanity hasn't come up with a more attractive way to paint rooms.
This may sound horribly pessimistic, but it's more that I'm a perfectionist, and I hold others to the same standard I hold myself. My criterion for a 10 rating in movies is that, if I were shown that version of the film and had final cut, I would not make any changes. As I learn more, there are fewer things that make that cut. The more things I learn about, the more I understand why some people prefer willful ignorance. Learning is definitely valuable, and worth it, but it can sure suck the fun out of things.
The last 10 I gave out? Bruce Almighty.
 |
| Yes, that Bruce Almighty. |
I am not unaware that, if I were to watch it for the first time today, it would not be a 10 for me. This is the case for at least 13 of the 16 movies I've given a 10 over the years. It's not just nostalgia, or that I was younger at the time. It's that the more I learn about the process of filmmaking, the more flaws I can see, and I can't simply turn that part of my brain off and ignore them like I used to.
This isn't unique to film, or even entertainment. I painted an interior room for the first time in my life about a year ago, and was unsatisfied with the outcome. There were globs here, splashes onto the trim there, a bit of streaks in the color. Other rooms don't look like this, I thought. I've failed. What I've noticed since then is that other rooms actually do generally look like that, or worse. Even professionally painted ones have minor versions of the flaws my son's room has. One might think that would make me feel better about my work, but it actually makes me feel worse that humanity hasn't come up with a more attractive way to paint rooms.
This may sound horribly pessimistic, but it's more that I'm a perfectionist, and I hold others to the same standard I hold myself. My criterion for a 10 rating in movies is that, if I were shown that version of the film and had final cut, I would not make any changes. As I learn more, there are fewer things that make that cut. The more things I learn about, the more I understand why some people prefer willful ignorance. Learning is definitely valuable, and worth it, but it can sure suck the fun out of things.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Typecasting
I've somewhat lost track of Hollywood in recent years, but now and then I stumble upon articles like this one, about the box office numbers for this past weekend. In first place was Real Steel, which is apparently a sci-fi movie about robot boxing staring Hugh Jackman and Evangeline Lilly. The paragraph that most jumped out at me is quoted below:
"'The men might have been more attracted to this idea of boxing robots and the Rock `Em Sock `Em part of it. For women, it was more Hugh and the Hugh and Evangeline angle,' [Disney head of distribution Dave] Holis said. 'For families, it's this father-son story and the somewhat redemptive rise to glory toward the end.'"
Reading this actually made me cringe. How cynical have we gotten as a society that we've allowed marketing departments to assemble our entertainment in such a way to try and fit in something for everyone (or, at least, every major demographic)? More to the point, why are we OK with such frank admissions of such?
This isn't limited to Hollywood. I've been observing this frequently in almost every area of entertainment, and even in politics. While not quite as nauseating as most campaign commercials, I find what passes for political commentary, even by "legitimate" news organizations, is rather lacking in substance. I listen to NPR with some regularity, and during the midterms I heard so many things about "the Hispanic vote" or "suburbanites" that suggested those heterogeneous groups would all vote as one that I even started to get defensive about it. "That's not me," I thought at the radio. And I found it insulting that they would put it like that.
What actually bothers me, though, is that they tend to be right. Real Steel did indeed open at #1 this weekend. Obama did indeed carry the voting blocs they said he would, and ditto McCain. How did we all get to be so predictable? For a country that upholds individualism as a great virtue, we sure are great at going along with the crowd.
"'The men might have been more attracted to this idea of boxing robots and the Rock `Em Sock `Em part of it. For women, it was more Hugh and the Hugh and Evangeline angle,' [Disney head of distribution Dave] Holis said. 'For families, it's this father-son story and the somewhat redemptive rise to glory toward the end.'"
Reading this actually made me cringe. How cynical have we gotten as a society that we've allowed marketing departments to assemble our entertainment in such a way to try and fit in something for everyone (or, at least, every major demographic)? More to the point, why are we OK with such frank admissions of such?
This isn't limited to Hollywood. I've been observing this frequently in almost every area of entertainment, and even in politics. While not quite as nauseating as most campaign commercials, I find what passes for political commentary, even by "legitimate" news organizations, is rather lacking in substance. I listen to NPR with some regularity, and during the midterms I heard so many things about "the Hispanic vote" or "suburbanites" that suggested those heterogeneous groups would all vote as one that I even started to get defensive about it. "That's not me," I thought at the radio. And I found it insulting that they would put it like that.
What actually bothers me, though, is that they tend to be right. Real Steel did indeed open at #1 this weekend. Obama did indeed carry the voting blocs they said he would, and ditto McCain. How did we all get to be so predictable? For a country that upholds individualism as a great virtue, we sure are great at going along with the crowd.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Curing Insomnia, Creating Boredom
I was an insomniac for many years. It was largely cured by giving up caffeine almost entirely; even though I rarely drank it close to when I went to bed, it made a significant difference in my sleep patterns. Some of this was positive (not being able to sleep is really depressing, for those who have never experienced it), some not so much (I found myself unable to function well on less than 6 hours of sleep after that), but overall I'm glad I made the switch.
One problem that didn't go away, though, was the amount of time it took me to fall asleep. Unless I was completely physically exhausted, it would take me between 20 minutes and 2 hours to fall asleep every night. After Peter was born and it was no longer guaranteed that I could sleep in or stay asleep once I got to sleep, I decided to try something I'd read that people should do: not using any electronics with screens (computer, television, etc.) for an hour before going to bed. Never being one to argue with science, this has worked wonders for me.
It has, however introduced a somewhat embarrassing third problem: I've found it very difficult to fill that hour with non-electronic activities. My only real non-electronic hobby that I can do on my own (music) doesn't really work when you've got a sleeping toddler in the house, nor do most household chores. It's too dark to do much of anything outside. I've tried doing some writing longhand, but the nerves in my wrists really act up when I do that for too long or too many consecutive days.
I've been reading more than I have in the past few years, which has been somewhat of a positive development; a few of the things I've been meaning to read for a while finally got off the shelf, though the quality of the bulk of it reminds me of why I stopped reading in the first place. I've also been able to get some cleaning around the house done, as long as it's quiet cleaning. For the time being, I also use that time for the reading assignments for my class, but that obviously won't be an option after the end of the year.
It's been somewhat enlightening to see just how bored I get when you take anything with a screen away from me, especially given that this is the first time I've been bored when left to my own reconnaissance in years. It felt a little embarrassing at first, until I realized the other big limiting factors are the dark, the need to be quiet and my wrists. (I suppose I could still play my electric guitar sparingly, but I'd run up against the same problem as writing.) I'll probably spend more time with the dart board and the pool table to try and get better at those. Anyone have any other suggestions?
One problem that didn't go away, though, was the amount of time it took me to fall asleep. Unless I was completely physically exhausted, it would take me between 20 minutes and 2 hours to fall asleep every night. After Peter was born and it was no longer guaranteed that I could sleep in or stay asleep once I got to sleep, I decided to try something I'd read that people should do: not using any electronics with screens (computer, television, etc.) for an hour before going to bed. Never being one to argue with science, this has worked wonders for me.
It has, however introduced a somewhat embarrassing third problem: I've found it very difficult to fill that hour with non-electronic activities. My only real non-electronic hobby that I can do on my own (music) doesn't really work when you've got a sleeping toddler in the house, nor do most household chores. It's too dark to do much of anything outside. I've tried doing some writing longhand, but the nerves in my wrists really act up when I do that for too long or too many consecutive days.
I've been reading more than I have in the past few years, which has been somewhat of a positive development; a few of the things I've been meaning to read for a while finally got off the shelf, though the quality of the bulk of it reminds me of why I stopped reading in the first place. I've also been able to get some cleaning around the house done, as long as it's quiet cleaning. For the time being, I also use that time for the reading assignments for my class, but that obviously won't be an option after the end of the year.
It's been somewhat enlightening to see just how bored I get when you take anything with a screen away from me, especially given that this is the first time I've been bored when left to my own reconnaissance in years. It felt a little embarrassing at first, until I realized the other big limiting factors are the dark, the need to be quiet and my wrists. (I suppose I could still play my electric guitar sparingly, but I'd run up against the same problem as writing.) I'll probably spend more time with the dart board and the pool table to try and get better at those. Anyone have any other suggestions?
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Lifestyle
One of my coworkers sent me this article, which is very depressing. I hadn't read very much about the tornados, and hadn't heard anything about half of this stuff. After Katrina, I was very wary of climate change discussions targetting specific weather events, since it was primarily the trajectory of Katrina, rather than the strength, that made it so devestating. Most of the news stories focused on the loss of life and property, and perhaps rightfully so; however, this is not entirely conducive to scientific discussion. Nor am I necessarily inclined to believe doomsayers on the Internet with no credentials, however eloquent their arguments may be.
We continued talking about this during lunch that day, and he'd mentioned that there were more tornados in the April 2011 than any other month on record. (I later checked, and it's worse than that - it more than doubled the previous record, 687 to 267, with the Super Outbreak alone constituting about 327.) I e-mailed my brother-in-law (a meteorologist) about this to get his take; I haven't heard back yet. To me, this sounds like pretty compelling evidence that something is up with our weather.
The lunch special that day was steak. I was not totally unaware of the irony of eating steak while discussing what would happen to Floridian refugees if the oceans rise as much as they're projecting, but this time a more direct thought crossed my mind: how many people have died to support my lifestyle?
This was a scary question, but it hasn't gone away since I first asked it. I've generally felt pretty smug about my environmentalism. I drive a small car. I put in Energy Star windows and doors on my house. My house goes down to 58 degrees at night in the winter, and we don't use air conditioning in the summer. Yet, on an absolute scale, my family and I live better than some kings did for millenia in terms of material wealth and conveniences. Even compared to most of the world, our meager by American standards lifestyle is downright lavish. I've always thought of myself as living fairly simply, but taking a hard look at my life, I really don't.
I am aware that the issue is bigger than my lifestyle decisions. From what I've read, it's bigger even than the U.S. My point is that I haven't cut deeply enough from what I've come to take for granted as things I should have. And, I suspect, neither have most of us, if we're honest with ourselves.
We continued talking about this during lunch that day, and he'd mentioned that there were more tornados in the April 2011 than any other month on record. (I later checked, and it's worse than that - it more than doubled the previous record, 687 to 267, with the Super Outbreak alone constituting about 327.) I e-mailed my brother-in-law (a meteorologist) about this to get his take; I haven't heard back yet. To me, this sounds like pretty compelling evidence that something is up with our weather.
The lunch special that day was steak. I was not totally unaware of the irony of eating steak while discussing what would happen to Floridian refugees if the oceans rise as much as they're projecting, but this time a more direct thought crossed my mind: how many people have died to support my lifestyle?
This was a scary question, but it hasn't gone away since I first asked it. I've generally felt pretty smug about my environmentalism. I drive a small car. I put in Energy Star windows and doors on my house. My house goes down to 58 degrees at night in the winter, and we don't use air conditioning in the summer. Yet, on an absolute scale, my family and I live better than some kings did for millenia in terms of material wealth and conveniences. Even compared to most of the world, our meager by American standards lifestyle is downright lavish. I've always thought of myself as living fairly simply, but taking a hard look at my life, I really don't.
I am aware that the issue is bigger than my lifestyle decisions. From what I've read, it's bigger even than the U.S. My point is that I haven't cut deeply enough from what I've come to take for granted as things I should have. And, I suspect, neither have most of us, if we're honest with ourselves.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Life Update
I didn't apologize for my few-week absence in my last post because I don't want to be the least interesting man in the world. However, as I think everyone reading this knows me personally, I thought you might want to hear about what's been going on in my life while I was out (which in part explains my silence). If you don't, feel free to come back tomorrowish and I'm sure I'll have some other political rant or something. (I'm not going to promise daily updates, but I'm also trying not to go weeks between posts. In this particular case, I also fell behind in some direct correspondence I'd been meaning to write, and my lawn looks horrendous even by my standards, so it's not just the blog that stalled.)
My job became extremely stressful, even though we delivered what I'd thought was our final package for our biannualish software releases in August. Things got very heated over what was essentially an error rate of 0.000002% (1 out of 500,000), and I just got fed up. Things have calmed down now, but I'm still feeling a bit irked and burned out about the way the entire situation was handled. I did find an opening at Roberts Wesleyan that's exactly what I want to do and the opportunity to really grow my faith by being able to work in a very Christian environment. I've temporarily suspended any other searching and have been praying that I get this position. I'm not a fan of the "name it and claim it" brand of "theology" that seems to be circulating now, but I've also always had a hard time trusting God and not trying to have several backup plans in any given situation. It seems possible that this is the best place for me, so I'm trying to focus on that right now. If you're the praying type, any prayers would be greatly appreciated.
Speaking of, Liana and I also started a small Bible study last week. We're doing Philippians, and I think the first one went well. I haven't been involved in something like this since college. We did go to a Bible study through church recently, but it seems that Catholic "Bible studies" are run more like Bible classes, so while there were some interesting things that came out of it, it wasn't as enriching for me as I'd hoped. I'm hoping we'll be able to continue having success with this for a while.
Between these, my being on two new church committees this fall, and the Java class, I've got a lot less free time than I did even last month. For now I'm OK with it, but I hope that I won't be pulling what's left of my hair out come Thanksgiving.
My job became extremely stressful, even though we delivered what I'd thought was our final package for our biannualish software releases in August. Things got very heated over what was essentially an error rate of 0.000002% (1 out of 500,000), and I just got fed up. Things have calmed down now, but I'm still feeling a bit irked and burned out about the way the entire situation was handled. I did find an opening at Roberts Wesleyan that's exactly what I want to do and the opportunity to really grow my faith by being able to work in a very Christian environment. I've temporarily suspended any other searching and have been praying that I get this position. I'm not a fan of the "name it and claim it" brand of "theology" that seems to be circulating now, but I've also always had a hard time trusting God and not trying to have several backup plans in any given situation. It seems possible that this is the best place for me, so I'm trying to focus on that right now. If you're the praying type, any prayers would be greatly appreciated.
Speaking of, Liana and I also started a small Bible study last week. We're doing Philippians, and I think the first one went well. I haven't been involved in something like this since college. We did go to a Bible study through church recently, but it seems that Catholic "Bible studies" are run more like Bible classes, so while there were some interesting things that came out of it, it wasn't as enriching for me as I'd hoped. I'm hoping we'll be able to continue having success with this for a while.
Between these, my being on two new church committees this fall, and the Java class, I've got a lot less free time than I did even last month. For now I'm OK with it, but I hope that I won't be pulling what's left of my hair out come Thanksgiving.
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